The disadvantage of the goal & the advantage of the problem

An integral part of my coaching support is the consideration of these two components, which complement and stabilize each other.

But what exactly does that mean? The accompaniments always have the goal that you rediscover the "meaning of your actions" . Why am I doing what? For what and why? Do my personal valuesmatch the values of my environment (job, partnership, family, etc.) or is there something wrong here?

With the help of the value-oriented St. Gallen Coaching Model, we determine what personal value drives you and what prevents you from achieving it.

The first question that often comes to mind is: what disadvantage does your target have? Who could be against it? Why? What could you possibly lose if you achieve your goal?

Then there is usually silence and the question follows: I thought a goal is always positive - how can it be that a goal also has disadvantages? Yes, every goal has its price...

For example, if your goal is: I am relaxed (value: serenity or self-determination) then the price may be that some people think your behavior is selfish and that you are not there for others enough. You may lose prestige. Are you prepared to pay this price?

The second and usually bigger "aha" moment comes when you ask, "What advantage does your problem have? What advantage? That can't be right. I want to get rid of it, it has no advantages. On the contrary, it only has disadvantages. It hinders me.

If your problem is: I'm stressed and have no time for myself, then one possible advantage could be that you secretly gain admiration and recognition from those around you with this statement and your actions. Unfortunately, it's almost common these days to be under stress. If you're not, people sometimes look at you strangely and wonder whether you have nothing to do or whether you're lazy? In this example, recognition is a possible advantage of the problem.

And we usually feel so comfortable with these advantages of the problem that we wouldn't want to do without them under any circumstances. As unpleasant as it may be from time to time, this is how safe we feel. And we usually don't realize it.

By recognizing these two components, it often becomes clear why the change has not yet been successful. And as long as the system stabilizes itself in this way, no change or increase in value can occur. We are treading water.

My task as a coach is to uncover these processes, to see where the origin of this feeling is and then to uncover the resources that already exist but have been forgotten, so that you can then say with conviction what your WHY is.

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